So today we've been officially in a realtionship for a year. (Congrats to us!)
And i see a lot of posts about how people think realtionships mean having butterfly forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into the room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you'd be so happy to live together you'd sleep on a double bed with each other every night.
And......
That's not exactly like that.
at least, not to me, not for us.
I'm too much reading or watching those romantic fiction things.
and when i doesn't feel like that, i doubted myself that i love him because i dont feel that way. anymore.
and one day i asked him if his heart still beating faster when we met, or is there any butterfly in his stomatch.
then he answered "it used to be that way, but not anymore. my heart doesn't beat that faster because of nervous. my heart beats just fine, it only gets excited whenever i will meet you."
And like usual, he is right.
You will stop getting those butterflies flying around inside your stomatch. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down.
When you are in the room with them, you feel calm and secure.
When you cuddle them, you feel your heart beats slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort.
It doesn't feel like rollercoaster anymore, it feels like home.
Kisses aren't always romantic and firey anymore.
But there are so much more of them now.
There are soft and sweet kisses after they take their nicotine.
There are lots of forehead kisses in public when nobody's watching.
Those kisses are so tender, gentle, and caring.
Simple finger screening through their hair, feeling the smell of their after shampoo hair.
through their face, so you can remember every curve around their face.
Holding each other for five minutes stright, and just it.
They don't pull away, they don't look at your face, they don't try to kiss you.
All they do is wrap you in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.
And relationship is not about always having good moments together.
Mostly we don't see eye to eye, we agree to disagree on things,
we complain about how annoying ourself to each other sometimes.
Everything is okay.
Maybe it's not perfect yet, but life and love don't mean to be perfect.
They are messy, sometimes they are disasters.
But there's a beauty in the messiness and there could be peace in the disaster.
And thank God, we always negotiate and end up stick together with lots of hugging emoticons.
we complain about how annoying ourself to each other sometimes.
Everything is okay.
Maybe it's not perfect yet, but life and love don't mean to be perfect.
They are messy, sometimes they are disasters.
But there's a beauty in the messiness and there could be peace in the disaster.
And thank God, we always negotiate and end up stick together with lots of hugging emoticons.
HAHAHA
poy, i love you and you should've known_
It's been so nice hangging around with you.
Thankyou for always become my saviour and my ajek.
Sorry i always being such a pain in your ass.
And if love doesn't mean to be together all the way life,
i want you to be happy, i wish you someone who brightens your world and awakens your soul.
I hope you find someone who makes you fall apart, makes you come undone, in all the best way.
and if we're not mean together forever,
i t would be because you were my ocean and i forgot how to swim.
with love,
oo
It's been so nice hangging around with you.
Thankyou for always become my saviour and my ajek.
Sorry i always being such a pain in your ass.
And if love doesn't mean to be together all the way life,
i want you to be happy, i wish you someone who brightens your world and awakens your soul.
I hope you find someone who makes you fall apart, makes you come undone, in all the best way.
and if we're not mean together forever,
i t would be because you were my ocean and i forgot how to swim.
with love,
oo
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